Journalist and previous Parliamentary candidate Polly Billington writes on Brexit Britain for the Compass blog. Twitter:  @thurrockpolly

We are British. We are better than this.

So you’re allowed to cry and moan a bit, but the time is gonna come very soon when it is time to buck up.

This is a moment we have to own. It’s been a long time coming. But Britain’s progressive forces have a unique role to play. We must be kind, and calm and generous. The very best of British.

When you list the litany of momentous events before midday on Friday it can be hard to see how we can turn this round, but we have to. The alternative is too awful to contemplate.

Britain’s extraordinariness is our strength and at this unorthodox moment we should see a way to create a progressive Brexit.

It is understandable the world is wondering quite what we have done and how to respond. The Europeans are understandably furious and have no reason to be generous. But we knew that. Shouting I TOLD YOU SO on Twitter really ain’t helping.

The British people have done an extraordinary thing, but this is part of our tradition. And it’s not as thought we didn’t know there was a problem.

We knew there was disaffection, we knew there was disadvantage, we knew there was a whole swathe of people for whom none of this makes any kind of sense.

This is an unorthodox way of dealing with it, but that’s Britain for you. It was us that experimented with the Magna Carta, with republicanism, with human rights, with exploring the new world, with trade unions, with common land, with rights to roam, with free trade, with abolition of an absolute monarchy and then the establishment of a constitutional one.

We have bucked the trend across the centuries and created a new consensus by doing odd things that became the norm.

Europe is collectively livid, but we should remember we have friends in Europe. Friends who are facing some of the same problems we are. Not all, but some, in government at national level. The progressive forces in Europe have been in retreat for some time. It’s time to talk to them.

We could show the way to a new kind of Europe, but not if we leave the story-telling of Britain to the forces of the free market, deregulation and unfettered capital. Farage can have his bank holiday: but we must make every working day work for working people.

Some of this will be about identifying “red lines”, things we want and need to protect and value. But it also requires us to harness the healing powers of our values, so we need to stop the primal screams of hurt and reach out and understand a little more, sulk and patronise a little less.

I worked hard for the last few months for the UK to remain, but I will be honest that the campaign overall wasn’t progressive enough. I hate campaigning for the status quo. Our economic emphasis meant little when this had become a battle over values and outlook. And the Labour Party’s tin ear isn’t the result of recent changes at the top. It is the result of decades of growing distance between those who formally represent the Labour Party and the communities and interests the party was established to stand up for. We looked and sounded like an elite. And even worse we hung around with the elite and the wealthy, deployed them as our message carriers and supporters, and implied people were stupid for not agreeing with us. Or racist.

This has been a long time coming and many so-called progressive forces have insulated themselves from the reality. They/we can’t do that any more.

Surely when we see a divided nation like we see on the maps of this result, we don’t retreat to #ScotLond?? That’s the behaviour of losers and the arrogant, those who give up to mutter over their skinny flat whites. It’s not British.

What we are experiencing is not new, and it’s not unique – in that, if left to fester, other parts of Europe could face the same convulsions. So why don’t we reach out – first to those who for too long we have ignored who are angry? And then to Europe to show them a new way of being, to prevent the domino effect and preserve the best of what we have, as well as adapting to a new way of living together, where the EU itself adapts more to local and national circumstances.

The politics of identity and belonging are important now: they can become divisive if we let them, or we can harness them for good, to increase equality, protect workers, sustain mutual respect and the strong bonds that people value.

Out job is to be nationbuilders, to bring people together, to prepare them for the next onslaught of the harsh forces of globalisation, to give them hope. Because if we don’t, sure as hell Farage, Boris and Gove won’t. The early broken promises are just a start. And the fury of those who voted for things that won’t be delivered, from NHS money to an end to immigration, will be terrible to see. The Tories won’t reap that whirlwind. We will. If we don’t start building a strong nation now, that fury will destroy us.

Polly was the Parliamentary candidate in Thurrock in 2015, and previous Communications Adviser to Ed Miliband in government and as leader of the opposition. She has also been a journalist for 15 years. Twitter: @thurrockpolly